Sex expert shares how to cope with the mention of an ex's name in bed.

Pleasant memory from the past

According to The Sun: When recalling my worst memories about sex, one incident always surfaces.

This happened not because of bad partners or boring sex - in fact, I made a fatal mistake in bed myself.

In a moment of passion, I shouted my ex's name, and that was it - our relationship came to an immediate end.

This memory resurfaced when I received a letter from a reader whose girlfriend did exactly the same.

I, Georgia Cully, a sex expert at 'The Sun', will share in my series of articles about sex this week how to recover from such a mistake in bed and open up your sexuality so that you forget about your ex.

Difficult question

Q. I had great sex with my girlfriend when she suddenly shouted her ex's name.

I was shocked. They broke up more than a year ago, but now I can't shake the thought of whether she still loves him.

When I talked to her, she cried and insisted that she loves me, but admitted that she misses the sex with her ex.

He was her first love, the only man who gave her an orgasm, and they had years of experimental sexual experiences.

Logically, it makes sense given their past experience.

But emotionally, I feel paralyzed.

How can I help her forget about him - both in bed and outside of it?

Expert recommendations

Georgia says:

I understand why this hurts - when an ex's name is called in bed, it's undoubtedly one of the biggest sexual nightmares.

Despite the pain, try to stay calm and talk about it when emotions have settled.

In the moment of distress, when you both are upset, it's not the best time for a conversation.

Emotions will be at their peak, and keep in mind your girlfriend also feels terrible about her slip.

Nonetheless, it's important to explore whether she still has feelings for her ex.

Based on your story, she claims it’s not about wanting to go back - it’s the sex she is missing.

This is completely understandable, as he is the only person she has ever been intimate with.

The reason their sexual life was so good likely lies in the length of their relationship. The longer the time goes by, the more you learn about what excites your partner. But he is in the past, and you are her future.

There are many ways to create a sexual life that not only matches what she had before but exceeds it.

This is your chance to explore, experiment, and create something unique.

Sexual massage

One of the most intimate and sensual ways to please your partner is to give a sexual massage.

This will be even better if you create a special atmosphere - dim light, candles, and sensual music. For added effect, try a massage candle instead of regular oil.

I love dressing in something sexy and giving my partner my full attention.

Warm wax feels incredible on the skin - gentle, sensual, and it can serve as an ideal prelude to sex. I also like vanilla candles, as vanilla is a natural aphrodisiac.

Power play

Power play is a form of BDSM that plays on the contrast of dominance and submission.

Do you submit, giving control to the partner? Or do you like to be the one in charge? Maybe you enjoy both options.

You can start slowly or dive right into all the nuances - experimenting with restraints, spanking, and cuffs.

Don’t jump into the deep end; it’s better to start slowly and see what works for you. Always communicate and establish a 'safe word' if someone wants to stop.

Power play is a wonderful way to uncover your desires and understand what truly excites you and your partner in bed.

Sexual gifts and games

There’s an old saying: couples who laugh together stay together. Research shows that playfulness is an essential element in strengthening bonds and safety in relationships.

If things in the bedroom seem too serious, it can be fun to surprise your partner with whimsical gifts (even if they are not just for Valentine’s Day!).

Something like an intriguing board game will certainly lift the mood.

I enjoy the game ‘Monogamy,’ which involves moving around the board while completing increasingly sexual (and a bit funny) tasks.

Just don’t mix it with ‘Monopoly’ at Christmas… unless you want to have an awkward conversation with Grandma.

For something less exhausting, try feeding each other chocolate.

There are kits designed specifically to highlight passion in bed and that contain natural aphrodisiacs.

This is not only a fun dessert, but the accompanying game cards can open up some new aspects of your shared desires.

Remember, sometimes it’s worth putting in the effort to change the atmosphere, and you'll find it interesting to learn new things about each other during this process.