Men and Loneliness: Why Men Struggle More with the Absence of a Partner.

According to Vox: Throughout his life, Shea Mandley dreamed of a certain future: a happy wife who would be there through joys and difficulties, and six or even seven children to whom he could pass on his life lessons. But reality turned out to be quite different.

Currently, Mandley is single — the last three years after an unprolonged six-month relationship. He is disappointed with both online dating and the difficulties of communicating with women in real life.

“The worst thing that can happen is rejection,”

shares Mandley, a 31-year-old resident of Minneapolis.

“It’s almost like a tactic of humiliation if you want to meet someone.”

He feels lonely and yearns for closeness. Watching couples on Friendsgiving, Mandley often thinks about what it would be like to have someone to share all this with. Sometimes, he finds it hard to imagine whether he will ever meet someone.

“I feel empty,”

he admits.

“I feel lonely not having a partner. Sometimes it can lead me to retreat into a shell because I don’t want the world to see my loneliness.”

Mandley represents a growing group of young, mostly heterosexual, single men who desire to be in relationships. According to data from the Pew Research Center, 63% of men under 30 are single, while among women, that figure is 34%. Half of these men are looking for serious relationships or casual dating, while among single women, the figure is 35%. New studies show that single women are generally more satisfied with their lives than single men.

Studies have shown that single women are generally more satisfied with their lives.

Why Men Become Emotional Isolators

Loneliness is not a bad phenomenon — many people happily choose a life without a partner. However, for many men, romantic relationships become a primary emotional outlet, making their absence particularly detrimental. Frederick E. Rabinowitz, a psychology professor at the University of Redlands, notes that

“many guys typically put all their emotional eggs in one basket,”

hoping that their partner will be the only person they can share their experiences with.

This is tied to the fact that from childhood, boys are taught that talking about their feelings means being weak.

“They learn to just keep everything inside,”

says Rabinowitz. Men often try to fill the emotional void by seeking a romantic partner — the only person society allows them to be vulnerable with.

This suppression of emotions has consequences for both romantic and friendly relationships. When teenage boys learn the ideals of masculinity — strength, resilience, independence — intimate friendships may seem contrary to these standards. As a result, platonic relationships often remain superficial, focusing on shared activities rather than deep connections.

Breaking the Vicious Cycle of Male Stereotypes

The research team also notes that for men who have a supportive partner, life becomes happier and more balanced. Married men tend to exhibit better mental and physical health, as partners help them with household chores and remind them of important doctor visits.

“A man in a relationship might hear: ‘You really ought to stop at the third beer?’”

comments Levant, the author of The Problem with Men: Insights on Overcoming a Traumatic Childhood From a World-Renowned Psychologist.

Research also shows that men feel a certain inadequacy without a partner, which can lead to self-deprecation and reinforce harmful stereotypes.

“Men feel insecurity as one of the main causes of their loneliness,”

emphasizes psychologist Elaine Ho.

Men feel insecurity as one of the main causes of their loneliness.

To help men overcome these stereotypes, Rabinowitz hopes they can combine different traits from various aspects of masculinity, creating a new, healthier model. Can men overcome old notions and become more open and sensitive while still maintaining their strength?

“This involves openness and vulnerability, but also strength, having strong values, diligence in problem-solving, and responsibility,”

notes Rabinowitz.

“My worth is more about how I make others feel,”

says Mike, a 32-year-old resident of Portland.

Thus, media and psychologists are starting to question traditional male stereotypes, considering how they impact men's lives. The growing attention to this issue may lead to changes in the perception of the boundaries of masculinity and relationships in society.