Limerence: what to do if love has turned into an obsession.

If you have unrequited love that is so intense it has effectively taken up residence in your mind and started to rewire it, you may be experiencing a powerful (and exhausting) romantic state known as limerence.

According to The Sun: Limerence is not just butterflies in the stomach. It is a figurative longing at the level of obsession, and this all-encompassing romantic syndrome is currently being actively discussed on social media, with many people secretly struggling with it.

What is limerence?

Limerence is a state of intense, relentless infatuation with another person, characterized by obsessive thoughts, a desire for reciprocity, and a tendency to idealize the object of one’s passion.

It can penetrate every aspect of a person’s life. Many who experience it find it hard to focus on anything other than their ‘object of limerence’ – and their work, social life, and other relationships suffer as a result.

Anna Runckle, a relationship expert and author of the self-help books 'Connectability' and 'Re-Regulated', explains that being 'stuck' in limerence 'becomes a way of life that leaves people isolated and alone – and makes it nearly impossible to build a genuine, healthy relationship.'

What causes limerence?

Runckle emphasizes that limerence is not a sign of brokenness or irrationality – it is emotional trauma, often rooted in past wounds. And, as with many cases of trauma, it can be healed.

Limerence is a syndrome of intense infatuation with another person that can arise from emotional trauma. This state can significantly complicate a person’s everyday functioning, leading to isolation and problems interacting with others. Experts stress that limerence is not a sign of weakness or breakdown, but rather a result of emotional experiences that can be successfully healed.