The Science of Best Friends: What Makes These Bonds Special.

According to Vox: Derek Gregory hadn't seen his best friend Ringo for nearly two decades. Their friendship began in the 1980s when they met in school through a shared love of music and similar hairstyles. There was always something to talk about with Ringo.

“He was big, expressive, larger than life, in love with everything around him — people, ideas, music. He could convey that passion in a way that was simply impossible to ignore,” recalls Gregory.

After graduating, Gregory moved away from Southern California, where they grew up, but their relationship continued long-distance. Today, at 56, Gregory, who lives in Denver, communicates daily with Ringo, who now lives in Australia. They exchange voice messages during traffic jams, share the music they are working on, and details about everyday life. According to Gregory, Ringo's life energy, his “spark,” and their ability to encourage each other on the best days while supporting each other on the worst keep their friendship alive across continents and time.

Most people have friends — those with whom they can share experiences, get support, laugh over dinner, or simply discuss common difficulties. Many studies highlight the benefits of such relationships: having friends improves physical health, reduces depression, and even lowers the risk of premature death. But what unique advantages does best friendship entail? What qualities characterize the closest friends that are absent in others?

Friendship Through the Ages

Although the term “best friend” became popular only in the 20th century, the concept itself has existed since ancient times. According to the classification of friendship proposed by Aristotle, the highest form is based on virtue. When one friend seeks to make the other better, that friendship strengthens.

The famous Roman politician Marcus Tullius Cicero dedicated his treatise on friendship “De Amicitia” to his best friend Atticus. As early as the 4th century, friendly brotherhood was ceremonially celebrated, later known as “adelphopoiesis” or “brotherhood.” Over the centuries, women have written candid and emotional letters to their friends.

These connections were not always called best friends, according to Rebecca Adams, a professor of sociology and gerontology at the University of North Carolina at Greensboro.

By the 1960s and 1970s, friendship became a serious topic for research, and the term “best friend” regained popularity. Regarding the quality of friendship, researchers identify a number of characteristics: reliability, honesty, support, loyalty, and more. Best friends demonstrate these qualities, but on a deeper level. You may have several best friends in different areas of life: from work, childhood, or the gym.

Qualities of Best Friendship

Studies show that best friends are those for whom you are willing to fight, even if it's uncomfortable. When it comes to support, the difference between close friends and best friends becomes evident. Difficult times require best friends to provide not just assistance in daily tasks, but true support.

According to Fehr, emotional loneliness can be avoided by having at least one person who knows you well and supports you. This helps overcome the feeling that you're lacking a close connection. Best friends can play this important role in your life.

Research also shows that the best friends are those with whom you spend the most time and form deep connections. These people can become pillars on your life journey.

Friendship holds immense significance in our lives, and this research underscores how vital are the relationships that withstand the test of time and distance. As the story of Derek and Ringo shows, true friends can support each other even when they are far apart. Studies on the quality of friendship emphasize that genuine friendship communication is an important component of our emotional well-being.