Oxford expert gave children smartphones at 3 years: his method.

According to Vox: If you are a parent, you have probably wondered when your children should be given a smartphone. There is a national movement called "Wait Until 8th Grade," which argues that devices should not be in children's hands until middle school. Some families try to hold off even longer. Andriy Przhibylskyi, a professor of technology and human behavior at Oxford University, has a different opinion.

“Children have always had phones — from the age of three,” he told me a few months ago. I nearly fell out of my chair.

Before I start criticizing, it's not as extravagant as it seems. Przhibylskyi didn’t just take an iPhone out of the box, connect it to the internet, and let children download apps. Introducing the device into his children's lives was a thoughtful process, akin to putting training wheels on a bike. Initially, the only app on the baby's phone was a photo album filled with family pictures. Then, as the children grew a bit older, they gained access to the phone's camera, followed by audiobooks and music curated by the parents, and eventually began calling and texting relatives.

Przhibylskyi didn’t take an iPhone out of the box, didn’t connect it to the internet, and didn’t allow his children to start downloading apps.

Giving phones to toddlers is a paradoxical idea, to say the least. If you’ve read reports about the mental health crisis affecting youth due to access to social media, parents are quite rightly afraid to give their kids phones. However, once you realize that these devices are also important tools in the tech world, the idea of teaching children to live with phones from an early age — with certain restrictions, of course — seems understandable.

Discussion about smartphones for children

Over the past two years, discussions about children and smartphones have intensified. Thirty-five states have passed laws or regulations limiting phone use in schools to address issues of bullying, distractions in the classroom, and the mental health crisis among youth. The use of social media, in particular, is linked to depression and anxiety. Both parents and teenagers agree that social media poses a threat to mental health. In an attempt to limit their use, many parents try to delay buying smartphones for their children for as long as possible.

In my opinion, this is a misguided approach. Critics like Jonathan Haidt, author of The Coddling of the American Mind, are right when they argue that children and parents have fallen into the trap of tech giants. They are also correct that efforts to ensure children's safety, such as improved age verification, create new problems. But trying to keep children away from smartphones, one of the most popular devices in the world, is nonsensical. Many parents, even those who have signed pledges, have tried but failed.

It is much more important to teach children safe technology use. Phones are a reality of the 21st century, and even if you try to keep them away from children, their friends will quickly get devices without any restrictions. Recent research indicates that screen time can be beneficial, especially when parents are involved in the process. It is never too early to teach digital literacy so that children can recognize deception and misinformation online. By making technology use a conversation, parents encourage their children to consult them when the online situation becomes complicated.

Screen time can be beneficial

Smartphones are not just popular — they are inevitable. Nine out of ten Americans have smartphones. The number of children who own devices is also increasing. According to data from Common Sense Media, this year 40 percent of two-year-olds have their own tablet, while the percentage rises to 58 for four-year-olds. The percentage of children who own their own smartphones is significantly lower: 4 percent for two-year-olds and 8 percent for four-year-olds. However, in families, the figure is significantly higher — 96% of children have access to a smartphone at home.

If the idea of two-year-olds with iPads worries you, this data may be alarming. However, if parents control what children watch, which apps are available, and how much time they can use phones, screen time may not be so bad after all.

“Research shows that it can be effective in promoting children's digital literacy, encouraging them to learn rather than avoid problems,” said Sonia Livingstone, a professor of social psychology at the London School of Economics and Political Science, who has studied children and technology for decades.

A 2013 study showed that two-year-olds learned new verbs by interacting with people in person or via video call, but not just by watching videos.

Video calls have long been considered beneficial educational activities involving screens. A 2013 study showed that two-year-olds learned new verbs by interacting with people in person or via video call, but not passively watching videos. Later studies have shown that parental involvement increases the effectiveness of learning even more.

However, as children grow older, mindless video watching can also be useful. This is confirmed by decades of research on children watching television. A famous study of the impact of Sesame Street showed that watching the show in early childhood leads to better educational outcomes in school. Of course, Sesame Street is created by a nonprofit organization aimed at educating children. Endless YouTube streams with sometimes bizarre children's content is another matter. The American Psychological Association noted last year that features like infinite scrolling are “particularly risky” for youth, as their brains cannot stop watching or scrolling, which can lead to increased distractions.

Therefore, all the experts I spoke to emphasize the importance of a measured approach to introducing technology to children. Creating playlists of music or videos, choosing specific audiobooks or podcasts — all of this is reminiscent of putting training wheels on this piece of the internet. The most important part of this process is talking to children about what they are watching or listening to and then discussing how platforms like YouTube and Spotify work. This involves explaining how dark patterns and algorithmic feeds can prompt them to continue consuming content.

“With new boundaries, communication, and content, parents can guide the situation in the right direction,” said Jenny Radesky, an assistant professor of pediatrics at the University of Michigan, who advises families on reasonable approaches to technology use. “These tech companies do not deserve to take up so much time and space in our family.”

These tech companies are also keenly aware of the public perception that their products are harming children. That’s why we see the rollout of things like YouTube Kids and Instagram Teen Accounts, which offer more parental controls yet still profit from children's attention. The least parents can do is teach their children digital literacy so that they understand how these powerful platforms work.

There is no magic number three

The last thing parents want is for the entire burden of the internet to fall on their child’s shoulders at the wrong time. One could argue that middle school, when many children undergo difficult changes of adolescence, is the worst time to provide access to smartphones. And even with parental controls, teenagers skillfully find ways to bypass them.

It’s hard to imagine keeping phones away from children until a certain age and then expecting them to develop a healthy relationship with modern devices quickly. On the one hand, I understand that giving a phone to a three-year-old may seem too early. In general, the concept of gradual introduction to technology is sound and should be so, regardless of the age at which a child gets their first tablet, phone, or smart watch. This process starts with a series of limitations that are gradually lifted and requires time and attention from parents.

The last thing parents want is for the entire burden of the internet to hit the frontal lobe of their child at an inappropriate time.

“The goal is quite clear: to think about how to promote healthy, meaningful technology use from early stages,” noted Aisha Bukh, who runs the digital citizenship program at Common Sense. “These skills and approaches, ideally, should stay with them when they reach 16 or 18 years or when they leave home, and parents are not around to guide them.”

Whenever I think about how to achieve this in my own family, I recall how I myself accessed digital tools in the 90s. My first real gadget — a digital camera — is similar to the device Przhibylskyi says could be given to a three-year-old. Then I had an iPod, and later a flip phone. When I take my phone today, I consider it primarily a device that serves useful functions — taking pictures, listening to music, and connecting with relatives and friends. I admit that my phone has also become a means to waste time, scrolling through feeds or watching videos, and even my adult consciousness struggles to contain it.

David Bikem, an assistant professor of pediatrics at Harvard Medical School, suggested a particular concept I consider very helpful: parents should give their children a device only when it meets their needs. They should discuss technology with the child, gradually reduce control, and provide the child with tools to solve problems or communicate when encountering difficulties.

“The worst outcome is a child who needs help from an adult but cannot turn to their parents because they do not trust that the parent will do something for their benefit,” Bikem said.

It is entirely possible that starting this process at an early age particularly helps solve this problem. A toddler, in ideal conditions, turns to parents for help in everything: from peeling bananas to putting on shoes or browsing photos on the phone. One of the first phrases many toddlers learn is: “I need help.” If parents want to be seen as allies in technology, starting the conversation at an early age is wise.

Even in the near future, when we may be communicating with AI agents through glasses, smartphones will remain ubiquitous. The generation of parents who largely grew up in the 80s and 90s has a unique opportunity to ease their children's entry into this technology-filled world and help them develop healthy relationships with these technologies. Whether you start at three years or thirteen — it’s a challenging but immensely important task. I believe the benefits of starting early, starting sooner rather than later, are undeniable.

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