Why Men Don't Want Children: A New Study on the Birth Rate Crisis.

According to Vox: For many years, declining birth rates have raised concerns, focusing primarily on women — the factors that prevent them from having children, the possibilities of balancing work and family, and the influence of feminism on women.

But what do men think about this?

Researchers studying market trends in birth rates often ignore men's positions on gender roles, caregiving, and relationships. We have significantly less data on men's opinions, and even less on how these views affect outcomes.

Men have their thoughts on these issues, even if they haven't received enough attention. American men are more likely to view declining birth rates as a problem, and they are also more inclined to revert to 'traditional gender roles.' A recent survey by 19th News found that nearly 60% of men support such a course, while only 40% of women do. Among Republicans, this figure reached 87 percent.

These views are not just captured in surveys — they influence politics and public discourse. Numerous conservatives openly lament that women's equality has proven to be too great a victory, calling for, among other things, the repeal of no-fault divorce or the withdrawal of women's voting rights. Even the New York Times, widely known as a liberal publication, recently published an article titled: “Have Women Ruined the Workplace?” discussing whether this situation makes the workplace culture too emotional and frivolous.

It’s easy to feel that men and masculinity have received enough attention, and there is restraint on the part of the left regarding emphasizing men's desires. This is certainly understandable. Men have been a priority for most of human history and still hold positions of power.

Not Just About Chores

When it comes to gender equality and birth rates, activists and politicians believe that more of the former will lead to more of the latter. The optimism of this theory was that if men took responsibility, and equality policies, such as paid leave, became the norm, birth rates would rise.

Research shows that the lack of gender equality leads to an even faster decline in birth rates.

Today, economically independent women and with less social pressure to marry are more likely to stay single than to settle for partners they’re unsure about. “Previously, women felt that they had no other choice — perhaps this guy isn’t the best, but he’s the best I can find,” said Patrick Brown, a family policy analyst at the conservative Ethics and Public Policy Center. “But now… women are willing to stay single if they don’t find someone who meets their criteria.”

Since most people who have children do so within long-term, serious relationships, men who do not demonstrate that they can be good partners have lower chances of becoming fathers.

Telling women to stay home is also not a guarantee of increasing birth rates. In many countries, working women 'are more likely to have children than those who do not work,' noted Trude Lappegard, a sociologist at the University of Oslo. This is true even when their partners also work.

In South Korea and Japan, where women take on virtually all household duties and work in conditions that harshly penalize motherhood, the birth rate has declined. According to data, the birth rate in South Korea reached 0.75 children per woman in 2024 — this is the lowest rate in the world, while in Japan, it dropped to 1.15. Similar trends are observed in Southern Europe. In Italy, Spain, and Greece, where traditional gender norms remain strong, birth rates fell to 1.1–1.3.

These patterns are also reflected in broader data. A 2025 study analyzing over 40 European countries found that women increasingly want men to share childcare and household responsibilities equally, while men's views that women should perform unpaid domestic work have remained virtually unchanged. In countries where this gap is widest, birth rates and women's employment were lower — suggesting that men's resistance to sharing household responsibilities may hinder both processes.

“Of course, this is not the only explanation — there are numerous factors affecting birth rates — but we assert that men's failure to acknowledge their share in the household affects women's choices about whether to have children or not,” said study co-author Julia Briselli.

The formula is not as simple as 'men help more at home — birth rates increase.' Men have indeed increased the time spent on parenting and household chores compared to past generations, but birth rates continue to decline. “Pressure on men to help at home will not increase birth rates,” argued Lyman Stone, a conservative sociologist from the Institute for Family Studies, this summer.

However, the situation is more complex. Northern countries that have reorganized parental leave, provided free childcare, and created more flexible working conditions that engage men in caregiving show higher birth rates. Their rates range between 1.4 to 1.6 — still not enough for replacement, but better. In Norway, Iceland, and Sweden, fathers who take parental leave are more likely to have partners willing to have a second child. Gender equality is not a magic solution, but the reinforcement of traditional roles seems to worsen, rather than improve, the situation.

Moreover, Briselli's work has shown that in countries where the gap in men’s and women’s views on sharing childcare and household responsibilities is the narrowest, birth rates and women’s employment were higher. The crux of the matter is not just about hours spent on household chores but how women perceive this arrangement as fair. Stone's data also showed that when women's sense of unfairness rises, birth rates decline. It's not just about what men do at home, but whether they consider it their duty or goodwill.

The Research Gap

This issue — how men perceive their responsibilities at home — is under-researched.

“This part has certainly been insufficiently documented, it hasn’t received much attention, and I think we should pay more attention to it,” Briselli stated.

Lappegard, a sociologist from Oslo, agreed and noted that among demographers in her field, there has generally been a lack of interest in studying men.

“I have been calling for more research on men for 20 years,” she said. “If we really want to understand what is happening with women, then we not only need to compare them to men, but men also need to have their independent voice in this.”

This gap in knowledge has partly arisen because many researchers consider studying men and masculinity to be extremely conservative — it is perceived as a threat to women's rights or as prioritizing men's hurt feelings over women's material interests.

But if we want to understand why men's views on household work allocation have remained unchanged, even as women's expectations have shifted, we need to delve into how men see their place in the world. And if we want to advance toward greater equality and connection, the question of what masculinity should be cannot be avoided.

Filling the Bigger Void

As concerns about men's mental health grow, so do debates about whether masculinity can be salvaged or whether it is inherently oppressive. Some call for a reframe of it in more humane terms, so that engaged fathers and emotionally available partners are considered masculine; others vehemently deny this. The idea that positive masculinity can exist is 'the essence of trying to erase the shameful stain of femininity from any trait or behavior before allowing boys to approach it,' argues Ruth Whippman in New York Times.

Thus, Jessica Winter noted in a recent New Yorker article, it would be an acknowledgment that 'men still need to occupy a higher place in the social hierarchy, but not as significantly as before.' Both women suggest a world where we abandon masculinity in favor of 'full humanity' and a 'genderless' world.

However, such calls evoke a feeling of a desirable yet unrealistic dream. Ignoring positive images of masculinity will not erase the need for it; the thirst for a sense of identity simply does not disappear. Practically, it only creates a void that is more easily filled by figures like Andrew Tate or Jordan Peterson.

And few call for the abolition of femininity. The critique certainly pertains to its toxic aspects — such as the dangerous pressure to lose weight or encouragement for surgical intervention — but it is rare to hear feminists calling for women to completely abandon femininity. Instead, the movement works on educating women about the harmful aspects of femininity, expanding space for those who do not meet the standards, and allowing women who want to engage in traditionally feminine activities to do so.

We can do for men what feminism has done for women: call out harmful pressures, broaden the perception of what a 'good' man is in society, and free people from norms that make them less healthy and less connected. As we wrestle with ideals of perfection, the stigma of asking for help, and reducing masculinity to control, we simply cannot leave them in the past.

Daniel Cox, director of the Survey Center on Family Life at the American Enterprise Institute, believes that part of the appeal of traditional gender roles lies in the fact that they offer men a sense of understanding — a clear place in the world and a feeling that they are needed.

“The main idea that all these men hear is that nobody needs them, women can do everything by themselves,” he said. This message leaves men confused and uprooted.

In response, Cox pointed to 'relational masculinity' as a concept that could help men and is likely to reflect better what women seek in partners.

“I think many new fathers feel the weight of responsibility to protect and provide for their families, and this can bring a great sense of meaning,” he said. “Otherwise, you might ask, why am I working, right? But when you do this for someone else and someone needs you, it’s incredibly motivating… I think we’re simply losing the idea of serving one another, be it for your family, your community, or your country.”

While some women might be skeptical about the notion that men want to feel needed, to be honest, this is a deep, universal desire. In a recent study of over 3,000 Americans, people who believe they are needed — whether by their family, their work, or their community — reported significantly higher levels of happiness and life satisfaction. This pertains not to selfishness, but to seeking meaning from something outside of oneself.

The Future Can Be Different

It is no secret why the gender revolution has stalled; integrating caregiving into male identity requires men to relinquish some privileges and embrace activities that have long been considered feminine and undervalued. But countries like France, where Briselli found that men's and women's views on sharing household work surprisingly align, demonstrate that men can view active fatherhood and domestic labor not as an unappealing obligation but as central to being a good man. Even in the USA, the situation is changing. About 20 percent of American fathers report having genuinely equal partnerships.

And women will not return to the 1950s. They will not give up their education, careers, or stay in relationships that do not feel like partnerships. Data suggests that even if they did, birth rates would likely decline even faster.

Whether birth rates in a society can rise again amidst gender equality remains a question; researchers like Lappegard say they currently have more questions than answers. But what matters is far greater than the birth rate — it is the question of whether men and women can truly build lives together.