Returning from captivity: how to properly meet and support the released.

According to ТСН: Since October 2, the process of exchanging prisoners has stopped. However, relatives and friends do not give up hope for their return — this has already become a tradition of the New Year holidays. How to cope with the first days after release? What should be said, and what should be kept silent to avoid causing harm with excessive attention?

Tips from those who have returned from captivity are gathered by the correspondent.

A year of hopes and a long pause

The year 2025 was marked by ten exchanges, resulting in the return of 2080 military personnel (including one woman) and 230 civilians (of which 13 are women). However, the exchange process has been suspended for several months.

The first emotions: the road home

The day of liberation is a joyful yet extremely exhausting experience. The journey home can take several days.

 

“When they get on the bus, they drive and see that ordinary Ukrainians greet them in the streets with flags. I, when I ride with them on the bus, see these emotions. I remain silent; I just see what they feel — they were really awaited.”

The first meeting: the main phrase and attention limitations

Many former captives dream of hugs from their loved ones, but experts and returnees advise to be cautious:

• No need for pathos; a simple phrase will do: “We waited. Finally, you are here.”

• A large number of people demanding attention can be overwhelming after a long period of isolation.

 

“3–4 people who know you well, with whom there is complete trust and responsibility for their advice. It’s not always pleasant when you are hugged and told ‘we waited’ by people you don’t even know.”

Financial confidence and a new world

It is important for a released person to immediately feel control over their life. Significant sums may accumulate in accounts after 2–3 years of captivity.

• Relatives should maintain financial support, and the military unit should inform about accumulated funds clearly. This allows for future planning: “you can buy an apartment, a house, or a car.”

• Those who were in captivity since the beginning of the large war do not know who Lachen is and why children sing about the dog Patron. The world must be learned anew: from clothing prices to new heroes.

How to communicate bad news

Many people fear learning about losses. Former prisoners advise: do not postpone bad news until later. If a friend has died or a family home has been destroyed, it’s better to tell about it as soon as possible.

Psychology of support: advice

The psychologist who developed a manual for the released emphasizes the main principles:

1. “I do not heal, I support.” Support is predictability and calm without pressure.

2. “I do not have to always know what to say.” Just being there is already help.

3. The right to choose. Every person has the right to decide for themselves how to live on. Do not make decisions for them.

Status and humor

• Status change: stop calling them “prisoners.” Their status has changed forever after crossing the border.

• “Black” humor: laughing at their jokes is acceptable, but such jokes should only come from them.

 

“I can joke that I’m guy number 9 out of 10 because I have 9 fingers left. I can do it; others can’t.”

Message to those who have returned

Give yourself time and peace. You have definitely changed, and that’s normal. Do not try to be as you were before.

 

“The country is fighting. When I saw the video of our forces entering Kherson or the support actions for the captives — it struck me to my bones. We have not been forgotten.”

Since the halt of the prisoners exchange process, relatives and friends continue to wait for their loved ones’ return. This situation underscores the complexity of emotions accompanying liberation, as well as the feelings of uncertainty faced by former captives. While continuing to support them in these challenging times, relatives and friends must adhere to basic principles so that everyone can adapt to a new reality.